Story Synopsis for Media Inquiries — The Who, How and Why
My name is Justin Dickens. I live on Dena’ina land in Anchorage Alaska, and I’m going to run the Mayor’s Marathon in high heels (on 6/19/2021).
I’ll be wearing heels that I picked up from Goodwill. I shopped for fit, structure and comfort. It took quite a few shopping trips to find the most optimal heels, which I was totally okay with. They are both black (unfortunately, because if you know me, you know I lean more toward bright colors), but they will be great contrast for my bright pink Injinji toes socks.
I’ll actually be carrying a second pair of heels as I run, which are a size bigger to plan for my feet swelling. I have some jelly to reduce the friction, which is actually what I’m testing out tonight, as I got big blisters during my last training run. Blisters are unavoidable though, which is why I have a needle stashed right here in the fabric of my Ultimate Direction running vest, that I can use to drain blisters throughout the run.
This is the same vest I wore last year when I ran a 100-mile ultramarathon in 37 hours, beginning from my porch in Anchorage, going up and over Powerline Pass, to Girdwood, through Crow Pass and then back to Anchorage. It was the hardest physical thing I’ve ever asked my body to do. I ran a few marathons a couple years before that and a 50-mile run, all with the goal of running the hundred. I hoped to find peace, healing, and self-love on the hundred mile journey, and surely I did, but it wasn’t quite therapeutic enough to help me emerge from a rather dark place. It was a massive undertaking, an unfathomable accomplishment, and quite a story to tell, yet I still haven’t really taken the time to celebrate that experience.
After finishing the 100-mile run, I realized that merely running far was never going to get me all the way to the mentally fit place I wanted to be. I had to come out as non-binary, I had to accept my transness, and I had to allow myself to exist. I had to let loose a truth I had been trying to suppress for the past decade. That shift required that my partner and I would conclude our 7-year marriage. I stopped misusing alcohol as a coping mechanism, and sought therapy I could afford. And, during all of that, I came across this idea to run a marathon in heels. What a powerful way to reignite the life I long imagined, to invite the world to meet me, and to choose to exist without asking permission.
So people always ask why, why run a marathon in heels, and what I love, is that if you already know me, truly know me, you’ve never needed to ask.
As a trans non-binary person, I’m constantly told I shouldn’t exist. I feel a sense of erasure when I must choose between two bathrooms, neither of which offers more safety than the other. I get called disgusting, and other homophobic and transphobic slurs in downtown Anchorage, just for existing. I have absolutely been passed over for jobs and ostracized by friends and family because I’m trans. I know firsthand, all the hate and violence that trans folks experience daily, which is exponentially worse for Trans Feminine People of Color and folks who have less financial security than myself. So this run has grown into another way I am not only advocating for myself, but for everyone. It’s Pride month. The first pride was a riot, a protest, a demand for safety and freedom, which was led by trans women of color.
I made this running cape; it’s the trans flag, with Black Trans Lives Matter written across the back. I’ll be wearing this on Saturday. I am not black, I am white. But, when we create a culture of safety for black trans folks, we will all live in a safer community. This is something I have the power to do. I can continually show up, be visible, and fight for the LGBTQ community.
A huge part of this journey for me was a Go Fund Me. In my pursuit of self-love, I needed to regain hope that I could one day have a full smile. Yes, the beautiful one you can see today, but it was not there 7 months ago. I lost my 2 front teeth 15 years ago and never quite found enough access to the dental care needed to fix them. But, with the help of the Go Fund Me, my savings, and credit cards, that dream became a reality. 7 months ago on a Medium blog I wrote that, “On race day, I want to stand at the starting line, and feel grounded in my truth. ‘I’ve already won’. I will have reconnected with the one person who can walk into my heart and light up all the darkened chambers. Me.”
This run is about trans visibility. It’s a celebration and a call to action. A reuniting with radical self-love, and a statement that we all have the power to shift our culture.
If you want to follow me on the run, you can do so by downloading the RaceJoy app, searching for Alaska races, choosing the mayor’s marathon, and then search for my name, Justin Dickens.
If you want to connect with me, I am on Instagram at lifesahighheeledadventure. You can find links to my blog and Go Fund Me in my bio.
